The French Really Do Need Your Love Folks
We hope that everyone had a very Merry Christmas, ‘n shit. And if Santa is your thing, we hope he came into your life with a chuckle and a bowl full of jelly, and blinged that bitch up. And with that, I’d like to share a brief Christmas miracle.
You might recall that I’ve been in need of a serious attitude adjustment regarding the holidays. And you might recall that it would help if one of youz got me a 21” LCD Flat Panel Computer monitor, black. And a puppy. Alas, I did not get a puppy. Which is prolly good ‘cause I couldn’t take care of it anyway. But. Santa must be a blogger too cause he brought me a 21” Flat Panel Computer monitor. Silver. And I can’t quite figure this one out because mom and dad don’t know about this here blog, and I never asked for a computer monitor. Which leads me to believe that it was one of you who tipped them off. So I ask, which one of you tipped them off?
Back to the French. You may also recall my mention of a little excitement coming my way. But in keeping with this “giving to others” kick that I’m on, I need your help. In a few short days, I shall depart for France. And while you’re all, doin’ yo’ thang up in he-ya, I will be sunbathing my hairless, snow-white testicles along the Mediterranean beaches of the French Riveria. Actually, that’s not entirely true. They’re not snow-white. Also, it’s January. And several parts of the Northern Hemisphere are under a winter advisory. Which means that it’s chilly and rainy this time of year. Ooh, and being that this is a business trip, certain “standards” may prohibit me from engaging in such an exhibition anyway.
May prohibit.
As open-minded as I am, I believe we all have a stereotypical view of the French. In that they’re assholes. But, seen as how I’ve never been there and the few French people I have met have been warm and personable, I shall shed my invalidated perspective of the French and go in with an open mind and open arms. And bring “them” gifts. This is where you come in. Currently, I am making a list of things to bring “them” in hopes of nurturing America’s relationship with the French. Last I checked, the top two requests to bring “them” were:
1. Books of matches
2. The full extension of my middle finger
Please feel free to add to the list and I shall fill my pack with warm-fuzzy, American goodies to share with our “friends.”
Good day.
You might recall that I’ve been in need of a serious attitude adjustment regarding the holidays. And you might recall that it would help if one of youz got me a 21” LCD Flat Panel Computer monitor, black. And a puppy. Alas, I did not get a puppy. Which is prolly good ‘cause I couldn’t take care of it anyway. But. Santa must be a blogger too cause he brought me a 21” Flat Panel Computer monitor. Silver. And I can’t quite figure this one out because mom and dad don’t know about this here blog, and I never asked for a computer monitor. Which leads me to believe that it was one of you who tipped them off. So I ask, which one of you tipped them off?
Back to the French. You may also recall my mention of a little excitement coming my way. But in keeping with this “giving to others” kick that I’m on, I need your help. In a few short days, I shall depart for France. And while you’re all, doin’ yo’ thang up in he-ya, I will be sunbathing my hairless, snow-white testicles along the Mediterranean beaches of the French Riveria. Actually, that’s not entirely true. They’re not snow-white. Also, it’s January. And several parts of the Northern Hemisphere are under a winter advisory. Which means that it’s chilly and rainy this time of year. Ooh, and being that this is a business trip, certain “standards” may prohibit me from engaging in such an exhibition anyway.
May prohibit.
As open-minded as I am, I believe we all have a stereotypical view of the French. In that they’re assholes. But, seen as how I’ve never been there and the few French people I have met have been warm and personable, I shall shed my invalidated perspective of the French and go in with an open mind and open arms. And bring “them” gifts. This is where you come in. Currently, I am making a list of things to bring “them” in hopes of nurturing America’s relationship with the French. Last I checked, the top two requests to bring “them” were:
1. Books of matches
2. The full extension of my middle finger
Please feel free to add to the list and I shall fill my pack with warm-fuzzy, American goodies to share with our “friends.”
Good day.
