Why You Should Have One
Life’s difficult. Like house cleaning. But when you get a Christmas gift such as this, it’s nothing more than a push of a button, and all of life’s difficulties go away. Like many of my first-time visitors.
I’d like to share with you, 10 purely hypothetical situations in which my Christmas gift, or one like it, will make not only my life easier and more precious, but yours as well.
Remember, these are strictly hypothetical and may or may not be associated in any way to your adult daily living activities. I can neither promise nor deny that these situations have or have not yet happened and that the result of utilization of a Christmas gift such as this may or may not directly or indirectly benefit or compromise you or anyone or anything directly or indirectly associated with anyone or anything that has anything to do with you at any point in time prior to or subsequent to your ability or effort to read and implement the opinions, suggestions or ideas included or unknowingly or purposefully excluded in said document.
Situational Benefit #1. Wednesday’s meeting in which individuals inappropriately and unproductively contributed to the knowledge being presented and ultimately significantly delayed and devalued what could’ve been an otherwise well presented and educational meeting.
Situational Benefit #2. Removal of Smile’s David Copperfield-designed bra.
Situational Benefit #3. Dad get’s hammered on his birthday and mom and I can’t get him out of the backseat of my car.
Situational Benefit #4. Boss asks you to pull a miracle out of your ass and have it on his desk by 8:00 am manana.
Situational Benefit #5. Christmas shopping.
Situational Benefit #6. Fu*king Christmas shopping.
Situational Benefit #7. Preparing dinner.
Situational Benefit #8. Communicating with members of the opposite sex.
Situational Benefit #9. Subdural hematoma evacuation.
Situational Benefit #10. College.
I’d like to share with you, 10 purely hypothetical situations in which my Christmas gift, or one like it, will make not only my life easier and more precious, but yours as well.
Remember, these are strictly hypothetical and may or may not be associated in any way to your adult daily living activities. I can neither promise nor deny that these situations have or have not yet happened and that the result of utilization of a Christmas gift such as this may or may not directly or indirectly benefit or compromise you or anyone or anything directly or indirectly associated with anyone or anything that has anything to do with you at any point in time prior to or subsequent to your ability or effort to read and implement the opinions, suggestions or ideas included or unknowingly or purposefully excluded in said document.
Situational Benefit #1. Wednesday’s meeting in which individuals inappropriately and unproductively contributed to the knowledge being presented and ultimately significantly delayed and devalued what could’ve been an otherwise well presented and educational meeting.
Situational Benefit #2. Removal of Smile’s David Copperfield-designed bra.
Situational Benefit #3. Dad get’s hammered on his birthday and mom and I can’t get him out of the backseat of my car.
Situational Benefit #4. Boss asks you to pull a miracle out of your ass and have it on his desk by 8:00 am manana.
Situational Benefit #5. Christmas shopping.
Situational Benefit #6. Fu*king Christmas shopping.
Situational Benefit #7. Preparing dinner.
Situational Benefit #8. Communicating with members of the opposite sex.
Situational Benefit #9. Subdural hematoma evacuation.
Situational Benefit #10. College.
