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My first trip through Moscow’s Sheremetyevo Airport will forever be known as: The Beginning of My Criminal Record. Never has the power of foreshadowing, an underutilized literary device in which subtle hints point to future plot developments, rang so true.

We are back in Baku.

Turns out, someone in Baku likes me. Though they don’t have the technology to make such a shirt.

You might be asking yourself:

1) What??
2) Who likes you?
3) What about ‘us’? I thought we had something. and,
4) What was Mary doing putting her face near tires?

With a heartfelt thanks to Mr. Dane, I can answer all four.

Also, you and I will be fine.

Also, nothing happened in Moscow. That was a lie.

Also, you wouldn’t baleeeeve the silly shit the local Police pulled on us at 5 am this morning. But right now, I’m watching the CNN especial on Romania’s Lost Children