You Made That Prayer Your Bitch, Dad
Dear Internet,
I write to you from beautiful, hazy Hong Kong, Land of Many Asians. Also known to the locals as, The Show-Me State.
I have been here for a little over two days now and have thus far been successful at keeping down some very questionable cuisine. Unfortunately, I cannot say the same for my German colleague. He only made it 38 hours. Had it not been for the sudden physical exertion to engage the “Do Not Disturb” light before Housekeeping parked her cart and started knock, knock knocking on Heaven’s door, the reference to hairy crab at the dinner table this evening may not have been met with a spontaneous gag reflex and a quick, embarrassed turn away from the table. Instead, we didn’t see him until noon. Pale. And dehydrated. Like a boatload of Cubans washing ashore in Monroe County.
Then there was the Hot Pot. Hot. Delicious. Served in a pot. They said it was “lamb.” Who puts “lamb” on the menu under Duck`s Blood?
On the bright side, their fruit here is delightful. Like a box full of puppies. Only typically, you don’t see a colony of ants parading out of your puppies. Disturbing? Slightly. Regretful that I had already had my share of Papaya, Watermelon and something cool, pink on the skin, white on the inside and mildly sweet on the palate? It`s at this point that I would like to acknowledge the seemingly higher alcohol content found within their wine. I recall a beautiful nightly view of Hong Kong and the busy waters of Victoria Harbour from our 7th Floor dining room somewhere in Kowloon. Whatever the hell a “Kowloon” is.
Back to the bright side. I am the proud owner of a new digital camera. Black. Slick. With a bag full of goodies. As a few of my Hong Kongnese colleagues were with me throughout the entire transaction, I feel confident that my new purchase shall last until the day after I depart. I`m ok with that. `Cause at that price, I should`ve bought you all one. But I didn’t. So, I`m sorry.
But, I did get you a new pair of pajamas. Dark Navy. Cotton. Slightly used. Hope you wear a large and don’t mind that they say “British Airways” across the left breast.
Strap up your chaps kids, this journey has just begun. . .
I write to you from beautiful, hazy Hong Kong, Land of Many Asians. Also known to the locals as, The Show-Me State.
I have been here for a little over two days now and have thus far been successful at keeping down some very questionable cuisine. Unfortunately, I cannot say the same for my German colleague. He only made it 38 hours. Had it not been for the sudden physical exertion to engage the “Do Not Disturb” light before Housekeeping parked her cart and started knock, knock knocking on Heaven’s door, the reference to hairy crab at the dinner table this evening may not have been met with a spontaneous gag reflex and a quick, embarrassed turn away from the table. Instead, we didn’t see him until noon. Pale. And dehydrated. Like a boatload of Cubans washing ashore in Monroe County.
Then there was the Hot Pot. Hot. Delicious. Served in a pot. They said it was “lamb.” Who puts “lamb” on the menu under Duck`s Blood?
On the bright side, their fruit here is delightful. Like a box full of puppies. Only typically, you don’t see a colony of ants parading out of your puppies. Disturbing? Slightly. Regretful that I had already had my share of Papaya, Watermelon and something cool, pink on the skin, white on the inside and mildly sweet on the palate? It`s at this point that I would like to acknowledge the seemingly higher alcohol content found within their wine. I recall a beautiful nightly view of Hong Kong and the busy waters of Victoria Harbour from our 7th Floor dining room somewhere in Kowloon. Whatever the hell a “Kowloon” is.
Back to the bright side. I am the proud owner of a new digital camera. Black. Slick. With a bag full of goodies. As a few of my Hong Kongnese colleagues were with me throughout the entire transaction, I feel confident that my new purchase shall last until the day after I depart. I`m ok with that. `Cause at that price, I should`ve bought you all one. But I didn’t. So, I`m sorry.
But, I did get you a new pair of pajamas. Dark Navy. Cotton. Slightly used. Hope you wear a large and don’t mind that they say “British Airways” across the left breast.
Strap up your chaps kids, this journey has just begun. . .
