Don`t Judge Me. Love Me
There are many certainties in life. Like death. Or a prostate exam. Long overdue, I`m now adding one to my list.
A missed flight.
I`m not talking about the ones in which you have no control over, like connecting or hijacked flights. That`s Junior Varsity. I`m here to talk about the ones you miss `cause you`re like me. You see, I`m what you`d call a Dip-Shit Moron.
Hi.
I`m not sayin` that I`ve never come close to missing a flight. Jesus have I been close. Like measured in minutes close. But this time, nuh-uh.
God, this is embarrassing.
Ok. You know how sometimes when you have to be somewhere and when you get there, there’s no one there and you`d swear on Chuck Norris’s mom that you were supposed to be there at 7:25 pm and you check and check and re-check your watch and then you check your appointment book and at first glance, all looks right? Only come to find out you were looking at the wrong appointment on the wrong day in the wrong appointment book. But instead of looking at the wrong appointment on the wrong day in the wrong appointment book, you were looking at the wrong flight on the wrong day from the wrong itinerary.
That`s me.
Who could love me?
A missed flight.
I`m not talking about the ones in which you have no control over, like connecting or hijacked flights. That`s Junior Varsity. I`m here to talk about the ones you miss `cause you`re like me. You see, I`m what you`d call a Dip-Shit Moron.
Hi.
I`m not sayin` that I`ve never come close to missing a flight. Jesus have I been close. Like measured in minutes close. But this time, nuh-uh.
God, this is embarrassing.
Ok. You know how sometimes when you have to be somewhere and when you get there, there’s no one there and you`d swear on Chuck Norris’s mom that you were supposed to be there at 7:25 pm and you check and check and re-check your watch and then you check your appointment book and at first glance, all looks right? Only come to find out you were looking at the wrong appointment on the wrong day in the wrong appointment book. But instead of looking at the wrong appointment on the wrong day in the wrong appointment book, you were looking at the wrong flight on the wrong day from the wrong itinerary.
That`s me.
Who could love me?
