Hi.
Slow week. But we wanted to let you all know that we found a new home. And that we`ll still be here in Nice. Far, far, far away from reality. And you. Which makes reality seem all the more trippy when it visits. Like a Pink Floyd laserium. Or Typhoid Fever.
But this home of ours, it`s empty. Empty like the dark, black souls of those that took all of my Dad`s Ramada Inn points. This is where you become important to me.
I need furniture. And a kitchen. They`ve left nothing but the kitchen sink. Sounds counter-intuitive, I know, but that`s what we have to work with here. So if you`re looking to unload a couch, a dishwasher, some dark-oak, cherry or Mahogany cabinetry, or hell, even a pair of pillows, we`d really appreciate if you could just stop by and make a donation. Thank you.
Speaking of donations, I am pleased to say that I met a beautifully wonderful Russian woman this weekend. Unfortunately she speaks English, but everything else, well, that was just dy-no-mite. We talked, we laughed, we threw coins in the sea and made a wish. We talked about our travels, relationships, our futures. And her cheek bones. My God her cheek bones. You would love them. Really.
However, I regret to say though that when we sat down for a nice Italian lunch (not a metaphor), and she left to wash her hands, I slipped a toxic radioactive poison in her pasta. I had to. What with these Russians and the craziness that`s been going on in the UK, I felt I had no choice. It hurts, I know, but believe me, your safety comes first.
I am sorry.
Slow week. But we wanted to let you all know that we found a new home. And that we`ll still be here in Nice. Far, far, far away from reality. And you. Which makes reality seem all the more trippy when it visits. Like a Pink Floyd laserium. Or Typhoid Fever.
But this home of ours, it`s empty. Empty like the dark, black souls of those that took all of my Dad`s Ramada Inn points. This is where you become important to me.
I need furniture. And a kitchen. They`ve left nothing but the kitchen sink. Sounds counter-intuitive, I know, but that`s what we have to work with here. So if you`re looking to unload a couch, a dishwasher, some dark-oak, cherry or Mahogany cabinetry, or hell, even a pair of pillows, we`d really appreciate if you could just stop by and make a donation. Thank you.
Speaking of donations, I am pleased to say that I met a beautifully wonderful Russian woman this weekend. Unfortunately she speaks English, but everything else, well, that was just dy-no-mite. We talked, we laughed, we threw coins in the sea and made a wish. We talked about our travels, relationships, our futures. And her cheek bones. My God her cheek bones. You would love them. Really.
However, I regret to say though that when we sat down for a nice Italian lunch (not a metaphor), and she left to wash her hands, I slipped a toxic radioactive poison in her pasta. I had to. What with these Russians and the craziness that`s been going on in the UK, I felt I had no choice. It hurts, I know, but believe me, your safety comes first.
I am sorry.
