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Ex-Girlfriend

I got a phone call from a gorgeous ex-girlfriend the other day. We lost track of time chatting about the wild, romantic nights we used to enjoy together. I couldn't believe it when she asked if I'd be interested in meeting up and rekindling a little of that "magic."

"Wow!" I said. "I don't know if I could keep pace with you now. I'm a bit older and a bit slower than when you last saw me!"

She just giggled and said she was sure I'd rise to the challenge.

"Yeah" I said, "just so long as you don't mind a man with a waistline that's a few inches wider these days!"

She laughed and told me to stop being so silly. She teased me, saying that tubby older men were cute, and she was sure I would still be a great lover.

"Anyway," she giggled, "I've put on a few pounds myself!"

So I told her to fu*k off.