Sunday Chronicles
Dear Stick,
About two months ago, this woman came into my bar and we hit it off immediately. An aspiring architect, swimsuit model, and twisted like me. Being that she lived in a different state, we made the most of our time together while she was here. And agreed that we would indeed make a fantastic team. About a month later, she came into visit and we took off to the mountains for the weekend. I'm not sure what the hell happened, but by the second evening, I was ready to take her back to the airport and get rid of her. I toughed it out for five days and on the last day, I couldn't take it anymore. I woke her up early and drove her to the airport 9 hours early. And got the hell out of there. She recently contacted me and wanted to know what happened. Do I ignore it and leave it as is, or do I tell her the truth and risk hurting her more?
- Bastard in Baltimore
Dear Heartless Bastard,
Man, you ain't gonna baleeve what happened last night. So a bunch of us were at the bar, eatin' and drink'n 'n shit. And one of our guys training for management invited us back to his house to smoke up. So we get there and shit and his wife or girlfriend or something, started freakin' the fu*k out cause I guess she like wanted to watch Cops or somethin'. So Ramone did what I would've done and I guess he straightened his bitch up and sent her back to the bedroom. I guess they had a tv back there too. So while that domestic dispute was playin' out, the six of us went to his patio and blazed the fu*k up. So our Bossman was there loadin' his pipe with this stinky green from Colombia. Dude, I swear I coughed up a fu*kin' lung after my first hit man. Anyway man, two bowls later Ramone came out and next thing I know, we were looking for our cars 'n shit. I remember driving by Tracy's car and sitting there watching him as he was tryin' to get his key in the door. Dude, what a dipshit. Man, that was fu*kin funny. Oh fu*k me, that was funny. You shoulda seen it. So I'm drivin' home and shit and then it dawns on me. Man, I'm doin 33 mph down the turnpike. No shit. It took my ass like a week to get home. That wasn't funny. Anyway, today I ain't feelin' so hot.
