So much for bl*gging everyday.
I’m busy preparing things for you. Here you sit, the sole beneficiary of my efforts. My pains. My good-natured stories of semi-rompless travels to lands I still can’t spell. Like the word, ‘every day.’
There’s actual work behind all this, this “work.” You see the Up side of the Swartz. What you don’t see is the Down side of the Swartz. You see, there’s two sides to every Swartz.
I’m headed to _____ in a few weeks, which requires legal paperwork in my Passport. Those of you who, like me in the near future, imported your wives, (Todd), are familiar with this process. So in an effort to oblige, I took the long trek to Frankfurt where the _____ Embassy is erected.
And like most adventures, my efforts fell flaccid.
I guess deep down, I already knew. It just took some ill-mannered _____ kid behind the single-pane window to remind me. As I have no Resident Visa in my Passport, I’m technically an illegal alien in Germany. And what do they do with illegal aliens of Germany? I don’t know. I assume they either gas them or send them to assemble the smart car. Something America should look into. . . Oh, also, they don’t issue legal paperwork to _____ to illegal German aliens.
So that leaves me with no choice but to head to the nearest _____ Embassy from where I hold legal residency. If you’ve been keeping track, it ain’t France either.
On the plus side, I have family in Chicago, which gave me the treat to spend about 40 hours with my Aunt and Uncle and the cutest, most loveable 8-year old cousin you could ever have. You’re probably saying to yourself, “Nuh-uh. MY cousin is cuter than your cousin.” To which I say, ‘Your cousin is a Bitch.’
Basically, here’s how it played out. It was a day and a half of repeated face-thrashings with her stuffed animals and a barrage of high-impact shin blasts with her soccer-playing legs. At first I thought it was cute. Then I realized that God has given her an unbeatable, undeniable talent that may best be utilized in the South East Asian underground world of Muay Thai Kickboxing. Then we made waffle mix and played Sticky Guns.
Also, I had hearty Mexican food two meals in a row. Which was a surprise shock to my plumbing and an unwelcome guest to my seat mate and surrounding Business Class passengers. But don’t worry. It was on United. Who by the way has recently begun recruiting Flight Attendants from your local Nursing and Assisted Living Homes.
I’m busy preparing things for you. Here you sit, the sole beneficiary of my efforts. My pains. My good-natured stories of semi-rompless travels to lands I still can’t spell. Like the word, ‘every day.’
There’s actual work behind all this, this “work.” You see the Up side of the Swartz. What you don’t see is the Down side of the Swartz. You see, there’s two sides to every Swartz.
I’m headed to _____ in a few weeks, which requires legal paperwork in my Passport. Those of you who, like me in the near future, imported your wives, (Todd), are familiar with this process. So in an effort to oblige, I took the long trek to Frankfurt where the _____ Embassy is erected.
And like most adventures, my efforts fell flaccid.
I guess deep down, I already knew. It just took some ill-mannered _____ kid behind the single-pane window to remind me. As I have no Resident Visa in my Passport, I’m technically an illegal alien in Germany. And what do they do with illegal aliens of Germany? I don’t know. I assume they either gas them or send them to assemble the smart car. Something America should look into. . . Oh, also, they don’t issue legal paperwork to _____ to illegal German aliens.
So that leaves me with no choice but to head to the nearest _____ Embassy from where I hold legal residency. If you’ve been keeping track, it ain’t France either.
On the plus side, I have family in Chicago, which gave me the treat to spend about 40 hours with my Aunt and Uncle and the cutest, most loveable 8-year old cousin you could ever have. You’re probably saying to yourself, “Nuh-uh. MY cousin is cuter than your cousin.” To which I say, ‘Your cousin is a Bitch.’
Basically, here’s how it played out. It was a day and a half of repeated face-thrashings with her stuffed animals and a barrage of high-impact shin blasts with her soccer-playing legs. At first I thought it was cute. Then I realized that God has given her an unbeatable, undeniable talent that may best be utilized in the South East Asian underground world of Muay Thai Kickboxing. Then we made waffle mix and played Sticky Guns.
Also, I had hearty Mexican food two meals in a row. Which was a surprise shock to my plumbing and an unwelcome guest to my seat mate and surrounding Business Class passengers. But don’t worry. It was on United. Who by the way has recently begun recruiting Flight Attendants from your local Nursing and Assisted Living Homes.
