Going without internet for this long is like nothing you could ever imagine. Think being blind, deaf, and having no hands to type or legs to run into things. It’s what I imagine it would be like to move to my next country and have no IKEA.
God that would suck.
We’ve made it to Germany. Our new home. Yours. And mine. But mostly mine ‘cause I don’t see us getting together anytime soon. I’m too busy arranging my 800+ € worth of crap from IKEA. That’s like $9,400 to you. And it won’t be hard to get more. In Nice, IKEA was some 200km away. Here? Eight (8). That’s like Lunch-Hour close. I could figuratively blow 500 € over lunch. Then spend it on shit that’ll seriously fu*k up the chi in my next home 10 months from now.
The one thing I do need is a new computer monitor. It seems the fine French folks at Allied International (feel free to leave a comment expressing your displeasure) thought they could use a 21” Sony LCD Computer Monitor and stole mine. Also, “Shamu,” the certifiably retarded North African Immigrant who disassembled my bed, forgot to send six special screws with it, so the delivery crew had to Chirac-rig my headboard to the base. Which means no funny business, ok?
Don’t go far. We have a surprise for you this week. Remember last year in Lisbon? This year, we’re doubling it.
In a place where public intoxication is illegal. . .
Update: I reviewed the photo and it was a Samsung monitor that was stolen. Samsung. Like the kind of Samsung that made my stolen television. Why couldn't any of my ex-girlfriends be made by Samsung?
God that would suck.
We’ve made it to Germany. Our new home. Yours. And mine. But mostly mine ‘cause I don’t see us getting together anytime soon. I’m too busy arranging my 800+ € worth of crap from IKEA. That’s like $9,400 to you. And it won’t be hard to get more. In Nice, IKEA was some 200km away. Here? Eight (8). That’s like Lunch-Hour close. I could figuratively blow 500 € over lunch. Then spend it on shit that’ll seriously fu*k up the chi in my next home 10 months from now.
The one thing I do need is a new computer monitor. It seems the fine French folks at Allied International (feel free to leave a comment expressing your displeasure) thought they could use a 21” Sony LCD Computer Monitor and stole mine. Also, “Shamu,” the certifiably retarded North African Immigrant who disassembled my bed, forgot to send six special screws with it, so the delivery crew had to Chirac-rig my headboard to the base. Which means no funny business, ok?
Don’t go far. We have a surprise for you this week. Remember last year in Lisbon? This year, we’re doubling it.
In a place where public intoxication is illegal. . .
Update: I reviewed the photo and it was a Samsung monitor that was stolen. Samsung. Like the kind of Samsung that made my stolen television. Why couldn't any of my ex-girlfriends be made by Samsung?
